Back to the Barricades

Ok now my dear readers .. that unpleasant duty of correcting some wayward kids out there having been achieved and them out of the way let us return to more funner type observations.

I was sent this the other day and just knew that some of you who see the international slliness in the same disparaging light that I do might get a kick out of it.

It may take a while to load up - but it is well worth it.

Enjoy.

Apparently the US Government in it's impotent wisdom has some signs for what to do in a Terrorist Emergency. Some people have provided what they think the signs may mean ...

If you have set yourself on fire - Don Not Run

If you spot Terrorism, blow your Terrorist Whistle. If you are Bald - Yell real loud.

If you spot a Terrorist Arrow - Pin it to the wall with your shoulder.

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stop and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Use a flashlight to lift fallen walls off you.

The proper way to eliminate small pox is to wash with soap and at least one armless hand.

Michale Jackson is a Terrorist, If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eys - run the f**k away.

Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol all have a lot in common - think about it.

Be on the look out for Terrorists with Pink Eye and Leprosy.

Also they tend to rub their hands together macically.

If the Exit Door is locked - Karate Chop it open.

If your building collapses - cower under a desk and kiss your ASS GODDBYE!

Try to absorb as much of teh rediation as possible with your groin.

After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may be sterile.

After exposer to radiation it is important to conside rthat you may have mutated into gigantic dimensions - be sure not to hit your head entering tiny doll sized buildings.

If you HAVE become some sort of mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that sh*t.

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio - it is a psychological Terrorist Attack. Cower in the corner or run like Hell.

If your lungs and stomach should start talking - stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

Austin is radioactive - move to Houston.

If you are trapped under falling debris - conserve oxygen by not farting.

If you lose a contact lense during a chemical attack - do not stop to look for it.

Do not drive stations wagons with power poles protruding from the hood.

A one inch thick pice of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Always carry one!