Just a few thoughts

Our Ancestors were as crooked as a dog's hind leg and would wonder at our scruples.

They would also have wondered a how hard we make our lives.

The same can be said of how much crap we put up with from some people.

When most people say "God" they don't mean who *I* mean when I say "God".

The views of others are best treated often like the noise of a food court at lunch time - it is background noise one should "tune out" to be able to hear what my family and friends are saying while we are enjoying ourselves.

The same most certainly should be taken as a guideline when one wants to hear one's OWN voice!

The past is not an excuse for the present.

Using the present as a reason for future excess is dangerous.

Considering how much "Pick and Choose" most people make use of to ecxuse their proclivities - why do they begrudge it in others?

If you feel a need to be religious you should not need anyone else's say so about any important part of it or it's practices.

An' ye will it... "lark it up" can be the whole of the law - if you let it be so.

If you get a drink and a bellyful; a couple of prezzos , some back and forth and some decent sex you won't BE whining about who says what about when!

This same most definately holds for those who have things to do - they rarely have time for worrying what others are up to!

Get a life and the rest will follow.

The differences in Traditions can be seen in several simple ways that few enjoy - it means they have to make use of common sense.

It also means they get answers and useful advice.

I come from a Tradition. That can be considered as me saying I have a last name.

Those who live next door to me have different last names.

I can think of nothing more repellent than my whole family living on one street with me.

I'd never get any privacy.

Or perhaps the wider issues of how I do what when can be seen as when and how I mow my lawn.

I come from a different tradition to most so I live in a different neighbourhood.

I maintain my yard with with differing tools to some.

I also maintain it in different ways to some because it has different things in it to others.

It rains on different days in my yard to some others so naturally I have to do the trimming and so on at different times.

Why does it need to be more complex than that?

It’s a Beautiful World We live in …

Well now I know I have been away for a while but I have been walking to and fro upon the earth (oo wot a giveaway! Lol)

And boy … lemme tell you that there are some crazy things out there … yes indeed!

The first one that I really thought was fabulous was a whiles back now when we were in a Big W I believe and looking at kids toys for the wee miss. O the side of such boxes, (for the uninitiated) there are wee blurs which tell you what supposed benefits your infant will gain from using this toy or that. There you will find daft pseudo intellectual terms such as (one of my favourites) “Gross Motor Skills”.

I personally like that one because as any parent will tell you, there are any number of things that you will see your children doing that will simply make you stare open mouthed with a shiver of revulsion and say: “Where the HELL did (s)he learn to do THAT!?” Well now you know .. you obviously had a toy which promoted gross motor skills! Lol

To return to our story however, there I was wondering what motor skills, (gross or otherwise) my children would gain from this toy when I spotted the fact that it, (and I am quoting now!!) “promotes thinking”. What ho! How excellent is THAT!? Now if only we could give one of these toys to the fools I see lined up outside of the closed doors every morning up at Garden City Car Park .. we’d be in business!

That was the first cool thing.

The second was while I was in an importer’s warehouse, idly browsing the gee gaws when I saw a box of, (presumably) Halloween trinkets. They were labelled “Scary Toys”. Of course my immediate thought was “Well I wonder HOW scary they are”.

When I looked at the top of the box there is the usual assortment of rubber bits you’d get in an old magic shop … severed finger (ok cool!) severed hand (neat) severed ear (ok .. a bit weird perhaps) severed penis (WHAT .. THE … HELL!?!?!) Hot DAMN these people weren’t kidding when they said “Scary”! LOL As it turned out they were only just wee rubber heads that you squeezed and snot stuff comes out in wee rubber bubbles … but still brrr … a moment that made me instinctively … clench a bit!

Then there was this morning which stands head and shoulders above all else if only in terms of pure surrealism.

There we are wondering around amidst many desperate clutchy and gaspy parentlings. We were there because it would make a diversion while the hot dog vendor fired up the wares so to speak. We had just wandered into the bike section and were debating what could be a workable prezzo for the lad when in waltzes this woman, her mother and her child. They then proceed to crash test them all for us! I kid you not – by tgis I mean she whacks this toddler on each thing we have looked at and gives him a push and a rattle to see if he’ll come off!

I am standing there wondering how to work out what would be stable and so on and then viola! Wonder no more sez the universe! Here are some likelies to sort it out for you!!

Pretty damn surreal thinks I.

Then it got worse.

Years ago I saw an interview with Alice Cooper where he said he was once out in a shopping centre and the muzak was getting to him and eventually he asked those he was with: “This is crap what *IS* that noise?”

He was informed that it was an elevator version of “Only Women Bleed”.

Now I always thought that was hysterical so you can imagine how I reacted when, confronted by this bizarre tableau, over the in store loud speakers comes a version of
“It’s a Beautiful World”.

The only thing that I felt left me a little sour in the after taste department was the fact that it was sung by what sounded like a fifteen year old girl and the words had been changed.

“It’s a beautiful world for you … and me too!”

I’m sure it is …. For you.